Episode 9: Sunit and Lesley Yadon talk about Blessingways and the importance of Connection
Lesley Yadon is a coach for new moms who are struggling with their motherhood journey. She believes that every mother already has and already is exactly what she needs, to be to mother her baby. She has a Masters degree in Counselling and helps mothers create a more confident motherhood journey.
Sunit says she really wants to help women be more in tune with themselves so they don’t end up losing themselves so she really thinks they are aligned.
Lesley says the birth of her son was the catalyst for the journey she would go on. She struggled with motherhood and tried to use her education and knowledge to help her through this place.
She decided that moms should not have to do this anymore. She started the Momma’s transforming journey which is a 6 session journey where she works with clients on the mind body connection and how to harness that and channel it to motherhood. She also talks about the spirit and creating rituals.
She describes a little bit about how she works with women from start to finish.
Lesley talks about how sometimes women just need a good cry. She says that our tears actually contain hormones. Our body is physically eliminating hormones that are making us feel threatened and scared.
Lesley is not a therapist but her work is really aligned with those that may be struggling with PPD or anxiety and may be needing the help of a professional.
Sunit says sometimes we lose touch with ourselves when we become moms, even though you have had this innate mothering capacity your whole life. Sunit talks about how she found herself relying on books so much sometimes and she had to stop herself and remind herself to go with your gut. She asks Lesley to speak to this intuition that we have and what happens to it when we get pregnant. Why do we lose that? Why don’t we trust ourselves that we are as wise as we are? How can we get it back and be more confident as moms?
Lesley speaks to the fact that there is an unspoken message coming from society. She thinks we are hearing society say “we are not rational as we are” so we need help from all sorts of experts, including pediatricians, mother in laws, neighbors etc,,.. We are told “you must be PMS ing, women are emotional” etc. It makes you question yourself. We also have a natural tendency to look at others and wonder… Why do they look like they have it all figured out? It is especially hard when our baby is crying and we are sleep deprived.
Sunit agrees that we are receiving all these messages often even before we are pregnant. People telling you when you should start having kids, then how to be when you’re pregnant, and on and on. Sunit also says that the comparing to others is so easy with social media. Our parents didn’t seem to care what other people were doing with their kids. It’s ocmpleetely different today and its detrimental to us and our parenting. Lesley says it is also disconnecting. In our parents’ day and age our moms could help each other raise their kids. These days we don’t even know our neighbours’ names. We are getting more and more isolated in our parenting. Sunit says it is “less about community and more about competition”, there is so much judging and comparing. It doesn’t feel like a village anymore, it seems like it would be healthy not only for the mom but for also the kids.
Sunit asks Lesley about blessingways. Lesley says a blessingway is like a baby shower but it’s more about the mom. It’s a shower for the mom’s soul. It’s a place where you intentionally bring a small tribe of women together to help you transition emotionally and spiritually into motherhood. She references the book “Mother Rising” by Yann Cortlund Barb Lucke, Donna Miller Watelet. This is something that you would ask someone to plan for you, a one-time event. The mom only needs to show up and open her heart. Lesley lays out all the different components of the event, there is a ritual and a feasting. This is a place to talk about your fears and allow other women to support you. These women eventually become your tribe who will support you through the hard times that may come.
Sunit talks to Lesley about the fact that she struggled to get pregnant and that she lost touch with the fact that not everyone has the same joyful experience when they first find out they are pregnant. She asks Lesley what she would say to the woman who is listening and might not be elated.
Lesley says everyone is on their own journey. There is so much out there that says that being a a mom is supposed to be so joyful and it can be tough. She reminds women that it is ok to have the emotions you are having if they don’t line up with what you think you should be feeling. The sadness you may be feeling can fade, as you give it time to be there. Allow it to be there. Don’t look at others and ask “why can’t I be enjoying this experience”. This is punishing yourself. Don’t compare. Sunit says move through the pain instead of trying to push it aside. Feel the emotions you need to feel to get through them. Lesley uses the word “fierce” to describe how she had to be to get through what you need to get through.
Lesley hopes we can support each other as women and know that all our journeys look different.
Sunit asks Lesley for one piece of advice for a new or expecting mom. Lesley says her advice centers around connection. She encourages women to be intentional about connecting to their own heart, their own desires and dreams and always return to that core knowing. The other part of connection is having people you can connect with who will support you. Build your tribe. People who you love and trust. Sunit reminds everyone that being in touch with yourself is a big part of not losing yourself once you have kids. Connect with your heart and connect with yourself.
Sunit asks Lesley to share something about herself that she has held onto or reconnected with after becoming a mom. Lesley says her creativity. She loves writing and loves expressing herself through poetry.
You can find Lesley at www.lesleyyadon.com
She is “Lesley Yadon Coaching” on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
Lesley created a special FREE guide for our listeners on how to create a Blessingway, available here!
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